We’ll Be The Villain and You’ll Take the L
A Villanelle From College Admissions
We’ll read each word closely, for we truly respect you.
But good news is rare in the end, sad to tell.
We won’t bother with waitlists; we’ll simply reject you.
We’ve assembled committees to closely inspect you.
We want to get to know you, and your payment as well.
We’ll read each word closely, for we truly respect you.
Here’s a bit of happiness with which to inject you:
Because of you, our rate of admission just fell.
We won’t bother with waitlists; we’ll simply reject you.
But fear not, for another school can resurrect you:
ED2 is also a service some sell.
They’ll read each word closely, for they truly respect you.
You think you’ll get in? I’m here to correct you,
And to tell you that none of your fears can I quell.
We won’t bother with waitlists; we’ll simply reject you.
When it comes to admission, we’re sure to neglect you.
We’ll be the villain, and you’ll take the L.
We’ll read each word closely, for we truly respect you,
But won’t bother with waitlists; we’ll simply reject you.
The College Avenue: A Sonnet
When a freshman hears “College,” Cactus comes to mind,
Or Oori’s, another place she once ate.
When a junior hears “college,” though, he’s sad to find,
All that he thinks of is Martin and Kate.
And holistic approaches, long info sessions,
tours, lengthy essays, and endless fees paid.
He thinks of months spent with friends’ hopeless depressions
And of need blind, need based financial aid.
Through the tests, Martin meetings, and C shops you go,
Up late each night with material to cram,
For facts and stats that you think you may know,
Risk leaving your mind during an AP exam.
But remember, while you’re counting days with a sigh,
You’ve got four years of high school––don’t let them slip by.
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